Marriage And Compatibility

Before I got married I understood marriage is an institution which is completely based on adjustment. The more you adjust the more happy married life you have. And this is the only secret which has been followed by our earlier generations to keep their marriages alive, and that is the only reason there were very few divorce and separation cases. But when I entered the marriageable age and got married there was a total new definition about it. Now the word  was COMPATIBILITY.  Which I actually understood and followed.

Until your marriage is compatible there is no chance of its success. I had this wonderful married where there were multiple problems but relationship existed only on the basis of compatibility. We had multiple arguments ranging from mild to severe, but we are compatible. Difference of opinion is part of any relationship. Same is with marriage. But we have highly disgested this fact with good dose of compatibility...until today.

Today we stared like any other day. Morning tea and gupshup. As usual we reached a topic about my in laws. So 'difference of opinion' had to be a part of it :P . Just before leaving for office my hubby popped up a question about trust and loyalty between us. Which again led to a hot argument all the way to office. Leaving me and him in a dull mood to start the work. However we managed to come to a conclusion which din't satisfied any of us. ....And this is not the end for the day. My hubby called me up in the late afternoon to discuss over the passport renewal where I have to change my maternal name and address. This has be our favourite topic to fight since last 4 years :D...He has his own reasons and I have my own. Again the call ended with a heated argument.

While travelling back from work I re-read my message that I had sent him this morning on our loyalty discussion rather argument, saying "Compatibility is the only thing which is holding our marriage as there is nothing else left in it". I smiled and questioned myself...Really??? Is it the only thing.

I sat back and thought the  actual meaning of this grt word ' COMPATIBILITY' on which marriage our is based. Is it just the get along thing or it has all other factors of any successful relationship. Like trust, loyalty, bonding, unconditional love, feeling to give away anything, etc, etc,etc......

If it involves every other thing then there should be no question about loyalty between us or I shd not at all mind while giving up my maternal name or he shd not expect me to do that, as it is not gonna change me as a person. More importantly we shd not have a argument over any difference of opinions. Or should we just stop expecting any thing from each other and be happy with ourselves.

All this thinking didn't gave me any answer but yes one thing I realised that its not adjustment or compatibility which leads to a successful marriage but it's purely love which does. Which we are into.

Now again love has multiple definitions :P

And now he is back home and our behaviour is not normal. Just before going to bed I asked him whether he is gonna talk to me and his answer comes pretty clear that "it's not necessary to talk everyday" and to it my reply is crisp and short that "it's not even necessary to be in this relationship".......uffffffff or should I has oppppssss...becoz it's again gonna be a long night .....:P

Good Night folks

PCOD / PCOS and Pergnancy

Hello Beautiful Ladies,

This is a post about my journey with PCOD and Pregnancy. I am writing this post to share my experience while I was going thru the treatment and the results. I will try and accommodate my thoughts in the shortest possible manners. You can comment below if you want to discuss on details or send me an email (proudtobeawoman2014@gmail.com)
(Sorry for not sharing the names of the medicines here but surely you can get that in the emails you send for it.)

I am an Indian and staying in a Tier II city which is also an IT hub in India. I started with my periods when I was 13 years old (1997). Since beginning they were regular without any problem. Throughout my life I have always carried some extra weight and never was a a thin or a normal weighing girl. But with that I had active lifestyle. I got married in the year 2009 and just before marriage I went on a crash diet to look and feel good  for it. Where I used to starve myself. I think that mistake triggered my PCOD.

 I and my husband were very cautious about our family planning and dint wanted a child for 3 years. So he always used protection. Once in a while if we were not sure about then I popped up a medicine which is used within 72 hours to avoid pregnancy. I took this medicine 3 times in an duration of 1 and half year. May be that huge dosage of hormones took me towards PCOD.

The 3rd and final reason I thing which lead me to this problem was the eating habits. Before marriage I loved to eat but not in big portions. Even my diet was not too high on non vegetarian food. I used to love variety of food but not the quantity. But after marriage I got a  foodie company and I & my hubby went out to eat and try a lot of stuff. He even loves non veg so I also started getting used to it. This is how my whole diet intake increased and I put on 10 kgs in a year which I lost before marriage.

In 2011 Feb, I went for a Thyroid test and found that my TSH level was bit high whereas T3 and T4 were absolutely normal. So the doctor put me on Thyronorm 25 mg. I am taking this medicine till Date. Since , April 2011 I stopped getting my periods. I ignored it for 3 months but finally I went to gyny for the consultation.

She put me on a medicine to get my periods and then a medicine to be taken for the 2nd day till the 5th for the ovulation. She even called me for ovulation monitoring for a month and asked me to continue with the medicine for the later months to get my periods regularly. Later I found out from other doctor that the medicine was good to get ovulated but once I get pregnant it might results into the early abortions and it is even banned in few countries. (Please read the reviews online or consult one of more doctors before going for this kind of treatment).

I immediately stopped that medicine and consulted a new doctor in July 2012 for the problem. She suggested me the Thyroid and another ovulation medicine and the most important thing weight loss. She even asked me to go for an Internal Sonography where  I found out that I had a slightly bulky ovaries which is causing all the drama and the permanent cure for this was to loss weight.

I endlessly tried to loss weight by going on a diet and dint give much importance to EXERCISE. Which was my biggest MISTAKE. This went for a year I took medicines and I got my periods, but in between for 2 months I had my natural chums coz I taking dance lessons that time, which I realized later was the reason.

Finally in September 2013, I went to my doctor for the treatment to get pregnant. And the real hell stared from that very moment. I still feel the pain that I went through for those 6 months. 

The doctor put me on the fertility medicine and ovulation monitoring starting from the 11th day. Near the ovulation she prescribed me an injection to ovulated and intercourse. This went for 4 months till December. I always did a in-depth online research on the treatment she was giving me and everything was good enough. 

In January 2014, she asked me to go for a treatment called HSG for check my Fallopian tubes. I consulted few more doctors before taking that treatment and finally I decided to go for it with the same old doctor. 

I should say I was one of the worst day of my life. In OT that to on a Labor table she inserted a liquid to check the flow through the tubes. An X-ray print and a CD was given to me. Being one of the best hospitals the quality of the results were pathetic. Even the doctor performing the test was not sure  said that both my tubes were of no use and now I should opt for IVF or adoption. 

The results were such that the other doctors were also not able to give any suggestion. I lost all my hopes and dint get any vibe to go ahead for any futher treatment.

Finally in Feb 2014 after my periods on 8th, I and my hubby decided to leave everything and try naturally for a year and then go for IVF. So now no more medicines, no ovulation monitoring and other stuff. We just had intercourse twice that month without any decided dates around ovulation or something.

To kill the frustration I was going through, I started running and this time I did something right in the direction of losing weight. In March I dint get my periods thinking that I was not on any medication.

One of friend suggest a doctor who is a very good gyny to treated this problem. I dont know what force drived me to again consult a doctor for this before an year. So on 22nd March I took the doctor's appointment at 10 AM. As suggested before going for any such treatment or consultation, we had to take the home pregnancy test.

At 7.30 AM when I woke up and took the test with the complete hopeless heart and mind , I was shocked to see the results. The device had 2 lines which means it was positive and I was PREGNANT. I and my hubby sat with it for 15 minutes with a complete shock.

It was the miraculous moment for us and instead of  PCOD we consultated the new doctor for pregnancy :). I really dont know that worked for us. The exercise, the faith in God or the first step towards positive thinking or the past treatments....but something worked.

Now its my 6th month with the lovely baby movements. Really praying things to work fine throughout.

So here is my story, please comment with yours and remember, Its just you who have believe and change the things :)

All the best friends !!

And Here Comes After Marriage

   When you are single people will ask you about your GF / BF.....and when you get engaged they will jump on the "Wedding Date" queries. Finally, once you get married no matter of your age, the first blessing you will get is, to become 3 from 2 and that too ASAP (as soon as possible).

The married life begins with all the understanding and adjustments. Likes and dislikes of your partner, the romance , the fights and the RELATIVES.

But don't forget the big question that will haunt you continuously.... "WHEN ARE YOU HAVING A BABY?".......When you have one, they will flush you with the thoughts and questions about the 2nd. And then their marriage and kids and blah blah...Cycle goes on and on and on.

Whattttt !!! Are you serious.?..Yes !!! absolutely....ask every other couple, they will agree on this.

I would really like to say, Hats off to this unending drama of Indian Society (not sure about the other parts of the world) and to those people who survive this and later become a part of it.

This is not my frustration but a big question that why can't the couple solely decide on when they want to start their families. Its not that they are forced on a gun point but many of them are under that pressure of deadlines and questions that make them compromise just for the sake of society.

I belong to a community where 80% girls get married even before they are 21. Hardly they have completed their Bachelors in Home Science .... yes because that is the highest they are allowed to study, to groom themselves to become good wives.And the guy that she will get married to is hardly 2 to 3 years elder to her.
After Marriage, there comes a lavish honeymoon and guess what they celebrate their 1st Wedding Anniversary with their 1st kiddo and the 3rd with their 2nd kiddo....uffff..
Have the society who continuously haunt them have thought that, are they really mature enough to handle that or they really want it that way???

And here we are the bunch of 20% who got married at the age of 23 to 25. Celebrated their 4th Anniversary an DON'T have a kid. OMG ... how can this be.
And I am sure couples like us are branded as not being able to bear a child due to some XYZ medical issue.

Now, instead of questions, we get sympathy and instead of blessing we get suggestions on good doctors and treatments.

And here we are laughing and stunted at the same time on this drama. Because we are tired explaining them that we are busy in our careers and paying of our major chunk of EMIs so that when we started are family we should be able to give are kid a luxurious life.  

But who is gonna believe us??? ....yes ....NOBODY

The thought here is not against on having a baby too early. The thought is to protest on no matter what let the couple only decide that when they wana have their baby. May be they want it on their 1st Anniversary or wana party hard for the first 3 years of their marriage and they think about it. It should be their choice.

Today, people are enough mature and aware about all the issues like biological clock, compatibility issue, etc etc. They do't need the society to tell them that.

At the end of the day they are the one to welcome and to be solely responsible to look after that new family member in this world. :). And it should be done without any regrets and unfulfilled dreams.

Wish you all a Happy Family.

Who Am I ????

                                      

Hellos, This is me a Proud Woman...and this not because I have just become as successful as Indira Nooyi or Ekta Kapoor and of course my parents din't name me "Proud" :P. But this pride is to celebrate womanhood in itself. 

I think this name will not identify only my personality but also everyone who is Proud To be a Woman :) as this blog is dedicated to do so. But of course guys are also most welcome to read this blog as they have this special woman or women in their life in roop of their Mom, sister, girlfriend, Wife, wagera wagera.

Caution: This blog is not to give you any kind of Gyaan like Relationship , Fashion or Weight Loss...these are those few Random thoughts that just touched my mind or emotions.

And I am sure there would be this some or the other girl who would relate to these thoughts because this is about those NORMAL girls or women who are working, want to get married, married, moms to be or mothers who have been playing a role of a daughter, wife, daughter in law (DIL).

Their problem is not to crack a million dollar deal or to give a 100 crore block buster to the audience, but to cook everyday and serve their families even on national holidays,to deal with the nagging bosses, mummy ki jhik- jhik, saas ki kit kit, etc etc.......STOP your thoughts if you think its a daily soap in a blog...its a big NO.

This blog is about the irony that we ignore in this stupid drama of life. Its about those funny things you want to do to the person you hate most, the Secret wishlist that u have in your hearts whether its joining a salsa class or going on a date ;)

Here we are not to discuss on the tips on becoming an all rounder women like Tulsi or Balika Vadhu (sorry!! these are the only names I remember...as my too bad at TV ki duniya) but to love your inefficiencies, to be careless at times and to laugh , gossip and giggle the most.

So all the lovely ladies and guys with them welcome to this blog....and be tuned for more , because 'Sirf Abki ki nahi but Har Baar women ki hai Power' :D (Pun not intended on Indian Politics :P)

Njoi!!!!